She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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