Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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