sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
