I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
