Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
