should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Can I color on your dick again?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
