Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
