3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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