I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
