I bet he comes in French.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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