dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
