you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
