why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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