she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
