You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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