are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
