i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
