I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
