It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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