so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
