You're completely useless in the revolution.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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