Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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