im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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