How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
