Soap is not a condiment
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
