You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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