and you said cock pushups were impossible
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
