You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
