I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
