Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
how drunk are you?
Several
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
