If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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