I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
