I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
