Sry I called you an 8
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
