Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
