I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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