K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I have post one night stand depression
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