he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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