I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
