Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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