get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
my sisters under your porch take her home
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
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