you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You don't make any sense
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