You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
