hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
