I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
