yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
As shirtless as possible
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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