her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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