i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
