It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
