the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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