just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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