I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Randomize
