and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
