I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
We had sex on a dog bed..
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
