I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
