so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
