You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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