I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
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